A guy cuts you off in traffic.  Your close friend seems to have new interests that don’t involve you.  Your boss seems to be micro-managing you when all you’ve done is what he or she has asked (and then some!).  These truths will always be a reality in our world, but it’s what we do with them that can advance us in our quest for peaceful, harmonic living… or not.

The guy who cut you off, your close friend and your boss – all have one thing in common – they’re ultimately responsible for their own happiness and peace.  Chances are, if you didn’t do something to catalyze this (you should always ask so you can seek truth and not get caught up in the fantasies of wondering what really is at play), then it’s really nothing personal – they’ve just found a way to serve themselves in that moment.  Even if you feel you’ve taken good care of them and the scales are imbalanced, ask yourself when’s the last time you took care of YOURself?  Some psychologists believe when these events happen, it’s to show us that the thing that’s bothering us, is really the very thing you need to tend to within our own selves.  In fact, in Radical Forgiveness, it talks about the Universe specifically putting those events/people in your life because your soul has asked to be free from a cycle and to learn something.  And the cycle will continue until you learn to look within, embrace whatever insecurity or frustration you may have (you may not even know you have) and then, radically, these events/people will no longer be attracted to your life.

Think about it.  The feelings you get when you’re disappointed, frustrated, confused – they’re all potentially toxic if held onto for too long.  They each have their purpose to reveal more about ourselves and tendencies, but when is the last time that feeling sad, bad, sorry…for yourself has really served you?  Things happen to you or around you and it brings an effect.  If it’s not gratitude and respect, are you really moving forward? Or will this thing become a ghost and haunt you?  I think about a lady who took her road rage out on me a few weeks ago.  At the time, I was baffled, thought it was a little funny, but for some reason, it stayed in my mind for several days, enough for me to tell the story to a few friends and family.  Other than an entertaining story, all I’ve done was hang onto a negative experience?  Why?  I really can’t say for sure, but I know that it felt slightly good to tell the story from the ‘poor me’ side.

We can’t assume that we’ll live a life free of obstacles and things that hurt us – of course we will.  But the truth is there if you look for it and it really doesn’t feel so personal if you take this perspective.  These facts can’t hurt you, but your reaction to them can.  As soon as we can put this practice into place, we will be able to get on with the learning and self-awareness a lot faster (and with a lot less toxicity within).

Happy living.